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simpleandy:

Have you ever wondered if the 1 dollar bills in your wallet were once in a strippers ass crack?

zippy:

hold on, I'll tell you in a minute

zippy:

yep, they were in there

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I always said, if my Mom can go buy $100 worth of lottery tickets every week... Why can't I spend the same amount betting a football game? I just didn't know that every commercial would be on betting sites. That Blonde chick is freakin obnoxious.
I was in Walmart using the damn restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” Embarrassed... I said, “I’m aight!!" The voice said, "So what are you up to?” I said, “Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!” Then I hear, “Can I come over?” Annoyed... I said “Excuse me?!?!." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!"
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